random bytes of mental data from the archives
author — michael ammerman
timeline — 1986 2015 (multi-year batch update coming late 2021)
the following content includes several freeform poems, writings and thoughts from my journal.
—
05.09.2015_12:11pm
michael ammerman
love
love is feeling
falling
believing
achieving
a touch
a smile
a kiss
love is love
for without it
life isn’t life
—
04.14.2008_10:38pm
michael ammerman
desires
to be
is in the moment
the moment
we stop
to feel
the good
with the bad
to look in
to look out
sometimes open wounds
others
old friends
then
we stop
realizing
life
is in front of us
not behind
the scars
are now
stars
the perspective
we once knew
is shed
each day
these
these are the desires
we each share
for without them
we are simply mortal
—
10.04.2007_8:18pm
michael ammerman
infinite
change
forever
infinite
remember
forever
never forget
infinite
cycles
spinning
up
down
never forget
infinite
everything
yet
not found
—
05.04.2007_2:48pm
michael ammerman
time
time
you don’t have to always be right
let it go
this isn’t the end
we fight
never stop
i don’t need this
life is a whole lot more
we need to stop
feel the moment
then let it go
time
time will tell
time is saying
stop
—
05.04.2007_2:42pm
michael ammerman
i wish (nirvana)
i wish i was like you
easily amused
—
05.04.2007_1:02pm
michael ammerman
it’s crazy
it is
it’s crazy
it’s crazy what you could have had
it’s crazy
could have had
—
04.14.2007_2:05pm
michael ammerman
i still haven’t found what i’m looking for (inspired by U2)
up and down
the taste of stale bread
even when it’s sugar
i can’t seem to find the top
from the bottom
yet i have ‘made it’
multiple times
multiple chapters
yet
they all read the same
yet are worlds apart
i’ve kicked down doors
yet have opened more
i’ve awakened to the universe
and yes, i am forever thankful
for the life i have been given
but satisfaction hasn’t knocked at my door
i am capable of more
i can be better
i want to inspire
i want to achieve
yet
i must find a balance
that’s true
i am not perfect
nor will i ever be
but as the shadows show me
i see with one eye
and feel with the other
not blind
but one that binds
one that finds
those without eyes
and
i will always dream
until my last breath
—
04.14.2007_2:05pm
michael ammerman
after all
after all
it moves and doesn’t stop
like the hands
of a clock that has no patience
but
after all
this is life
we choose to love or hate
after all
it is our choice
things are filled with fear
but i deny that pathway
after all
what does that provide
nothing
i choose life
light
colour
encounters
after all
what else is there
—
03.11.2007_2:05pm
michael ammerman
between
as one moves
from place to place
things shift
things collide
in this transition
between
is where we learn
to live
to love
to invite beings
new beings
new things
into our lives
into our world
between
is where we grow
we grow strong
we show the real individual
the one we know is always there
but hides
not between
but within
until we make the leap
the jump
fear
exhilaration
it’s all there
but if we sit idle
staring
thinking
what if?
there is no between
only concept
sidelines
and missed opportunities
between
is when we step it up
push forward
we become one
between
—
11.28.2006_3:07am
michael ammerman
the page has turned
life bridges us
across tactile moments
simple change
death
divorce
happiness
bliss
nothing more
nothing less
it cut’s deep
yet heals each time
and we have one choice
to live life
a full swing
full contact
that’s what makes life livable
infinite
opening up the heavens
to see
to see the sun
wide open eyes
no blinking
it’s like love
one has to fall
it’s all up to you and i
fall
it is blue
it is passion
but it is heaven and hell
order and chaos
choose the right path
always forward
never back
—
08.02.2006_3:03am
michael ammerman
feelings
through it all
i feel hope
belief
glass half full
tastes of smoke
can’t see
but i still
i still believe
because
i must
there simply
is no choice
we must connect
no choice
no choice
no choice
it’s simple
forgive
there is always tomorrow
and that is not a privilege
nor a choice
if you are dead
—
07.30.2006_4:15am
michael ammerman
justice
the enigma
the fuel
it makes us kill
strap bombs to our kids
justice
in the end
we all loose
we’ve lost
who’s the winner
christ
budda
allah
the old test
or the new
seems quite easy
stop the killing
accept eachother
i realize
i’m ignorant
i don’t understand
that sort of faith
i’m selfish
i believe in myself
i believe in good
i believe in hope
if i was black
and poor
i would gather my brethren
and speak of hope and love
there are only two ways
you can follow love
or fear
if i was jewish i would say the same
if i was palestinian,
again the same
there is a cord we all want
love and acceptance
to be respected
to have our individual faith
we are far from the end
i might not see the light
at the end of the tunnel
but i have a flashlight
…forgiveness
—
06.07.2006_12:35pm
michael ammerman
one day after
06.06.06… a series
numbers that mean such
some letters mean more
christ
ala
budda…
most end in strife
some eternal war
others create hope
lasting hope
how does it differ
dna
social
eco
geo
power
is man meant to follow
or lead
justification becomes tough
intelligent design
darwin
wtf
follow or lead
stop killing
and controlling
if not
maybe
just maybe
numbers mean something
i think
people do
spirits do
the universe does
unite we must
—
06.07.2006_12:47pm
michael ammerman
waiting
i’m waiting
pushing
pulling
conflicted
directed
i’m waiting
what for
what colour
what tone
what scent
i’m waiting
to stand still
to shock
to rest
to feel
i’m waiting
for the sunrise
for the sunset
for the next second
for tomorrow
i’m waiting
for you
for strength
for tenderness
for stillness
i’m waiting
for an angel
—
06.07.2006_01:12pm
michael ammerman
reflection
each day
memory echos
sounds gather
adjustments made
push for honesty
compassion
crossing divides
who built the divide
is it needed to connect
where has the spirit gone
the connection
shared by natives
water
earth
fire
that honesty
integrity
purpose
we’re set afloat
on a boat
with no guidance
yet we create to destroy
to control
the connection
the reflection
we have to reach back
touch the wind
understand what lies
within the divide
as opposed
to crossing it
take time
reflect
—
06.07.2006_01:24pm
michael ammerman
i see
i see
the rain
the truth
what has happened
what will happen
i see
to often
to loud
to proud
to open
i see
thankfulness
gratitude
poverty
passion
i see
leaves
streets
signs
auras
i see
what i shouldn’t do
what i do
what i need to do
what i don’t do
i see
goodness
bitterness
incompetence
beauty
i see
and sometimes
don’t want to
i feel…
—
06.07.2006_2:46pm
michael ammerman
do don’t
discriminate
aggravate
associate
meditate
exacerbate
isolate
integrate
masturbate
dictate
irritate
assimilate
segregate
debate
hibernate
mediate
hyperventilate
irate
motivate
reverberate
gesticulate
gyrate
instigate
propagate
hate to hate
—
06.07.2006_3:11pm
michael ammerman
looking for something
looking and looking
no place or nothing
leading to infinity
tasting like wine
up and down again
finding nothing to find
love is a clue
answers all around
love is the fruit
yet hard to find
endless possibilities
a ball of twine
ready to unwind
under rocks
around switch-backs
heart and mind
keep pushing for something
yet no clue why
grass is greener
on the other side
expecting the moment
yet hard to find
looking for something
with nothing
with nothing but time
—
06.14.2006_11:56pm
michael ammerman
need
i need somebody
somebody in colour
somebody in flesh
somebody in tone
the sharpness
the texture
the fight
healthy
but right
the note
the tone
the fire
when it knocks you down
hurts your soul
yet you follow
no choice
no doubt
i need somebody
somebody who feels
deep as a wound
deep as a well
it’s so fucking simple
yet harder than death
harder than bleeding
we want it
but don’t want to give
give up
what
ourselves
our lives
our integrity
fuck that
fuck it all
we need
we need
we need…
love
—
06.14.2006_12:09pm
michael ammerman
the chase
i thought
time and time again
make the call
make the leap
i tossed
i turned
the one thing
that meant
the life to me
i didn’t chase
i didn’t fight
what irony
the hard-on
the super-human
yet
i let you go
the one i loved
my soul-mate
it hurts
but it was right
maybe not
for me
but
certainly
for you
—
06.10.2004_11:45pm
michael ammerman
not afraid
soft tip
easy lip
quick take
then the quake
sure as red
hot as fire
stop
then go
death
then life
easy come
hard to go
who’s to say
life is grand
it shifts
in bounds
then the gift
of birth
or thought
or peace
the smell
of spring
the touch
of a new friend
or a distant
past
communication
like a sign
not wasted
not afraid
not now
not later
it shifts
it sands
great
but
still
not afraid
just curious
—
06.05.2004_02:02am
michael ammerman
lift
which ways up
where to go
lead me dad
one hint
behind your back
no looking
stop sign
turn left
always up
never down
but life
is winding
and shifts
abrupt
keep clear
clear as rain
feel the way
dark but not
sleep
awake
whats the point
without shift
believe
cause today
we steal the sign
and make our way
up again
never down
taste the current
touch the god
make a left
at a right
lift
until you can’t
fall
only for love
—
05.13.2004_01:56am
michael ammerman
picture
the views
the highs
the lows
life
ingrained
in memory
in emulsion
in pixels
fragile
yet burnt
in our memories
on our hard drives
on our calendars
sweet days
swift nights
wake up
and feel
the new day
brisk
bright
open
sort of like
nothing happened
an open book
with pages creased
which way to go
straight up
or down
have you told
the truth
will you pass go
the noise is loud
and clear
it speaks of
the truth
as it always has
open
enlightening
reflecting
clear
where does it lead
how does it end
like paint
fluid
but it has to dry
hopefully
waiting
for the picture
to arise
open
and clear
it always ends
in a picture
framed
for all to see
beauty
and the beast
going to love it
and push
for the sky
—
05.06.2004_11:02am
michael ammerman
we
we open
we cry
we float
we die
we harness
we lift
we kill
we lie
we shift
we miss
we kiss
we fall
we shut
we caress
we abuse
we all
we hit
we walk
we push
we yell
we hold
we do
we listen
we smell
we see
we don’t
we strike
we won’t
we burn
we stare
we hate
we spare
—
04.10.2004_11:38pm
michael ammerman
another
it starts
over and over
infinite times
questions
thoughts
many beliefs
few gifts
of life
of openness
the world
subsides
and falls
yet birth brings hope
and death brings
questions
thoughts
many beliefs
few gifts
yet we move
and move
another place
another thought
another memory
another life
—
04.10.2004_11:31pm
michael ammerman
it’s all right
no cry
no loss
right the wrong
in a poem
cast it away
let it live
take a breath
let me be
open wide
to the shifts
up and down
take a breath
it’s clear
it’s red
i followed you
here
take a breath
spirits high
stand firm
open
clear the air
take a breath
it’s all right
fall
clear
blue
—
04.10.2004_11:21pm
michael ammerman
isn’t it strange
life keeps moving
without soul
without mind
it’s peaks
it’s valleys
it’s colours
lift
but for a moment
it’s sounds
it’s feelings
it’s memories
the reality
the dreams
the hope
lost
yet open
to catch
and to fall
the morning air
brings another
to touch
to smell
to lift
isn’t it strange
—
12.11.2003_11:24pm
michael ammerman
life
life is but a dream
to feel
to touch
to challenge ourselves
to be honest
and good
and follow
our path
deviate when need be
follow when needed
lead when called upon
this is life
this is living
—
12.09.2003_2:24pm
michael ammerman
untitled
today… is new
yesterday… is over
—
12.09.2003_1:37am
michael ammerman
life
life
fucking hurts
at times
hopeless
then a tune
a touch
a morning
a breath
a smile
—
12.09.2003_1:09am
michael ammerman
untitled
try.
fall.
speak.
open.
close.
yell.
grip.
touch.
feel.
all.
death.
me.
you.
touch.
sting.
we.
are…
all.
_alive.
—
12.09.2003_12:32am
michael ammerman
i can
life
always shifting
as if it has something to prove
to wrestle you to the ground
as if to say
i am all knowing
i am your god
i am your savior
when all you want
is another breath
another gasp
one more candle
and to say
i can
—
10.10.2003_12:24am
michael ammerman
my mind is racing
infinite pass
someone speaks out loud
the color red
why does this seem
seem to be unfair
the pain
the threshold
almost unbearable
shifting to and fro
I miss the subtle
laps of waves
morning kiss
where did it go
why so soon
why so painful
for a moment
it appeared to slow
just a moment
the color red
opens my mind
opens my heart
passing us by
like the smell of a rose
or the touch of a stranger
too preoccupied
for life
my mind is racing
like it always will
—
10.01.2003_12:41am
don’t leave me behind
I hope for openness
the bread crumbs for the needy
doesn’t seem to exist
I read about the killings
feel the smoke
taste the burn
is there a reason for all of this
why I am still consumed
with my life
my feelings
It’s always a story
without an end
life, death, tragedy
for what?
I fell hope
I always do
but at times it is so tough
to cut through
all of the pain
I see
I feel
tough
I don’t want to miss the train
I don’t want
eternity
and life’s true color
don’t leave me behind
—
09.12.2003_02:07am (09.11.2003)
michael ammerman
without
what are we left with?
not in nyc
but as a race
when we turn to war
to hatred
to fear
and to death
is this what it means?
to be a democracy
or a muslim
or a german
or african
or american…
or human
when will it stop?
never
not until
we are all too tired
to care
can we stop?
I think not
too late
too much blood
too much anger
too much fear
it’s best this way
much easier
much easier than peace
all of the poems from the month of june this 2003 are related to the passing of my father on june 13, 2003. they are of course very personal but I never shy away from sharing my life experiences as an artist and a human. enjoy.
—
06.21.2003_12:13am
michael ammerman
i’m here
i feel
i’m weak
and delicate
i’m strong
and dad
i’m here
i’m ok
it will be tough
like a tree
at times
i will sway
but i won’t break
i’m here
don’t worry
you taught me well
with dignity
and honor
i will carry on
and dad
i’m here
if you need to talk
it won”t be missed
i will be here
at times i will fall
but never to far
for i am your son
like a tree
at times
i will sway
but i won’t break
i’m here
—
06.21.2003_12:13am
michael ammerman
always
i lay here
in a dream
not real
my father is gone
what a man
playing catch
always there
bricks and mortar
infinite wisdom
if and only if
can it be again
can he still comfort me
from afar
like he has
so many times
before
can i still
make him proud
how did he know
did he know
what happened
why is he gone
was it really his time
why so much pain
not for me
for him
doesn’t seem fair
for such a great man
he was
and still is
he will always be
the teacher
the coach
and my father
for i will miss him always
—
06.21.2003_12:05am
michael ammerman
please explain
don’t see it
how can it happen
one day
full of breath
the next empty
one day
full of life
the next
last breath
please explain
why do the birds
still sing
yet i
i can’t raise my head
a man with such magnetism
falls to the sword
like a child
with no father
doesn’t make since
please explain
why is it
why is flesh
so mortal
so delicate
so worthless
is this religion
is this faith
i’m not sure
i feel
i feel pain
please explain
—
06.21.2003_10:42pm
michael ammerman
good bye
dad
are you ok
are you in a better place
feels so heavy
thought i had strength
not like this
too heavy
can’t sleep
just want one last conversation
one last pep talk
one last chance
but i realize
it can’t be
an unworldly feeling
many questions
much anger
much love
can’t lie
just seems
like a nightmare
never had many
until now
can’t say good bye
need a sign
a sign of life
saw the sunset
saw the tears
saw the family
felt strange
but good
just don’t want
don’t want
to say good bye
—
06.21.2003_10:21pm
michael ammerman
as if
wake up
to mornings light
move about
wait for the moment
and pick apart the rest
typical life
then it shifts
so quickly
head spins
heart aches
what was life
before
seems distant
is distant
can’t go back
don’t usually want to
this time is different
very
what is faith
does it make it all go away
doubt it
but i would try
hurts like hell
want it back
the feeling
the conversation
the warmth
if i could
as if
as if nothing happened
—
06.20.2003_9:20pm
michael ammerman
for him
one day
life was fine
seemed to be going
in the right direction
then the call
then the loneliness
the sadness
why
stupid question
it’s life
it sucks
doesn’t seem fair
not for me
for him
such dignity
such honor
he taught me well
the best anyone could
could i have done anything
he would say no
he would say
i am so happy
that you are well
that you are doing it
i say
i would rather have you
i would rather have you
—
written at 1:15 p.m. Friday 06.13.2003
mom called with the news of my fathers passing at 12:45 p.m. Friday 06.13.2003
read 06.17.2003 (service in orlando, florida)
greatness — (to my father)
he was a man of greatness
a man of strength
he challenged those around him
to be honest
to have respect
simply, to feel
he was a man
like a vintage wine
got better and better with age
he had sensitivity
beyond our grasp
he was first-most
a father
and damn
he did a impeccable job
at the peak of my career
he told me that
life is more
your health is more
cherish life
and live a quality life
a rich life
a sensitive life
a strong life
and for that
i respect this great man
for he was my father
the best a son could have
i will forever miss him
i will forever respect him
i will forever honor him
thank you dad
for making me who i am today
i love you
—
lost memories
(lost journals from 01.2003–05.2003)
acquired space
new ideas
lost transactions
open
new possibilities
infinite loop
starts the soul
sunrise
sunset
no difference
like the beginning
like an island
open
explore
lost memories
infinite possibilities
—
journal 11.28.2002_11:40pm
michael ammerman
thanksgiving.02
starts with pain
head aches
why
introspection
what’s new
outward thoughts
what gives
always open
slightly impatient
always moving
even when standing still
what is thanks
thanksgiving
lots of thoughts
different perspectives
warmth
uncertainty
but that has passed
the future is now
lava
surf
will miss the fall
gain the sunsets
the horizon
miss the friends
miss the mom
always have been open
since my first day
as a stranger
doesn’t get any better
true love
true spirit
warmth
like turkey
and conversation
will miss it
—
journal 11.09.2002_1:42am
michael ammerman
hawaii.01
is it the next step
high or low
things make sense
for once
no weight
no wait
never was really
ok
there was
ny is fine
doesn’t need the lift
has peter
has lou
the street calls
just not as loud
just tired
fucking tired
tired of listening
listening to running
the heart
the demon
breakfast time
time to feed
where did the kid go
the one in the tube
vortex
matrix
hollow
blow out
wake up
time to get off the plane
you’re in hawaii
—
journal 11.09.2002_1:20am
michael ammerman
fortunate bliss.01
everyone you wanted to know
has gone away
at the same jest
there are the ones to touch
no one doubts them
you can’t blame the tides
the sun sets each and
every day
fall is sheer brilliance
nothing that can’t be touched
just like
the ones
the ones who graced my presence
tastes like the wind
sharp colour
sharp against the heart
such a glancing blow
makes you want
want to do it all over again
sharp
—
journal 10.19.2002_10:12pm
michael ammerman
300 meg or time passed.01
where did it go
was it three megs
not too much to do
the night always rolls quickly
waiting for monday
some day the tides will roll
no weight
no wait
just flight
the trees below
the sound
a murmur
the tone light
the colour bright
who was that
the corner echos
not sure what the flavor was
tasted sharp
bright
the blades were open
against the neck
movement quick
as usual
soft
but quick
none the less
it closed
as it opened
with sheer confidence
and emotion
—
journal 10.18.2002_1:20am
michael ammerman
a day in the life of the hack.01
just a joke
went to work
came home
sat around w/ mick
drank beer
talked about macs and other shit
drank more
mick left
hung out
hacked
found mac journal
wrote
hacked
eat
listened to music
bed
—
journal 04.14.2002_2:10am
michael ammerman
twilight.01
twilight
where did it come from
i didn?ft realize
it was all over
my heart yearns
this was once
all i knew
and all i felt
i?fm open to what is now
the dawn has just opened
and twilight is near
i will never forget
what i felt
each moment
i feel the red
the moment shakes
heart drops
sweat
fingers grow weak
where did the energy go
the twilight was
within my grasp
i don?ft want to leave
it?fs one of the gestures
where it doesn?ft target the soul
it was all over
my heart yearns
—
journal 04.14.2002_1:54am
michael ammerman
i am the captain of this ship.01
i am the captain of this ship
in the ebb and flow
the sun shifts
the bodies ache
this is life
the moment happens
quiet load
hell
open wide spectrum gaze
it’s easy
if one just
sits
and
listens
tender glass
wine
colour shifts
in the ebb and flow
i am the captain of this ship
—
journal 04.14.2002_2:04am
michael ammerman
open.01
sky grey
it’s just another spring day
off
but not the same
it?fs much more open
this day
seems much more hopeful
open
always open
the blue
one can always see inspiration
through the black
sprinting to the one that was left behind
who was identified
who named the street
what did it mean
my name was given
but it has meaning
i feel it does
the grass is open
and at times
that is all that matters
life’s vibrations
feed the soul
in each and every move
the sky is still
grey
but the blue is open
—
journal.03.30.2002d.10:00pm
open
green
blue
soft
inspiring
gritty
scent
touch
smell
movement
watch out
don’t move so quickly
run
open
colour
what street
LES
light
smoke
10
smile
don’t smile
feel
life
—
journal.03.30.2002c.9:56pm
the boy had his eyes
affixed to the screen
not to let anything go by
he would catch it
bottle it up
and take it with him
the temperature was hot
damn hot
why could he not
hold it in his palm
to lay it down
would be
to leave it vulnerable
if he could just hold it tight
maybe it all would change
tight
affixed
palm
smash
dropped
gone
why
—
journal.03.30.2002b.9:51pm
rhythm
motion
sound
what was it for
why did it pass by
I know I was looking
but It passed so quickly
this time will be different
the sound won?ft escape me
vibration
energy
kinetic
humming
the day is crisp
blue
and clear
not a monday
—
journal.03.30.2002_9:45pm
at moments
life presents itself
infinitely expanding
spacial
aural
it’s sharp
the corners extreme
to navigate
one has to have
wits
open mind
what if one slips
or falls
how to respond
force
open
blue
empty
yet extremely tight
static emotions prevail
it simply takes
a single step
just one
—
journal 09.26.2001_2:34a.m. (NYC 9.11.2001)
michael ammerman
today.01
today
we wake up
and feel
as though
we have felt this way
before
the grass seems a little more vibrant
a little clearer
a little fresher
but yet the sky
is not so bright
not as it is
the days when it seems
to bounce
across every little element
today
it’s different
something feels
just a little out of place
the world seems off
just a little off
i can’t place the feeling
i have never felt this
before
—
journal 09.26.2001_2:26a.m. (NYC 9.11.2001)
michael ammerman
flower.01
what was it really?
a flower or just a stem.
did it sting,
or just frighten?
was it because of the rain?
or just the aftermath.
the light was at once
so warm,
but i really didn’t see anyone.
darkness prevailed.
it almost felt like christmas
but
no christ
just a simple paper
reading tuesday.
what did it all mean?
where did the flower go?
—
journal 12.18.2000
michael ammerman
renaissance.01
the transitional period between the middle ages
and modern times c 1350-c 1650 : a period of vast
change and significant achievment. it was a period of
extraordinary accomplishment in the arts and sciences
typified by the universal genious leonardo da vinci.
this universal and multidimensional idea has somewhat
been put to the wayside. artisans and individuals alike
are respected for specialization and paid for monotany.
where have the renaissance artisans gone? are they still
here?
a belief of this type of diversity has been a way of life
and extremely strong belief since i can remember. this
multi-dimensionality i speak of creates dynamic
outcomes. it provokes and stimulates the mind and spirit
to not be satisfiied with the overproduction of ones
dicipline but to embrace these oposites and reward
oneself with this renaissance idea. the idea to explore
all dimensions, diciplinesand mediums.
in my brief lifetime as an artist (nearly 11 years of my 30
year span) i have used many mediums to stimulate
others. as a steel sculptor i used architecture and interior
space as a playground for dynamic movements which
brought life to my sculptural forms. recently painting has
brought forth a dimension i never dreamed existed within
sculpture. the ironies never cease. now new media and
the virtual world have expanded my reality ten fold. the
point being, the dimensions exist and the explorations
are out there, one just has to open his or her eyes
enough to experience them.
to specialize is to stop thinking.
—
journal 06.1999
michael ammerman
peak.06
man is his own invention: every artists
problem is to invent himself.
robert motherwell. preface to ‘the rise of
cubism’ (1966).
every individual has hope to create something
in life which he or she can be proud of.
few might have the desire to take this and
expose it for the world to see.
some might even take this challenge to
enlighten those whoes minds are open.
for some the foothills are too close, to see
the peaks beyond.
for those, i wish them well.
for it is a beautiful world from atop these
peaks,
you must simply have the courage to take
the first step.
—
journal 03.1999 (insight into painting)
michael ammerman
energy.03
en.er.gy (en’er-ji),n.;pl.
in physics, an atribute by virtue of which one
portion of matter can produce change in
another.
‘all that we observe in the universe’.
this world encircles us with energy each day
we awake…
we choose to feel or to not.
this project before you is that of ‘life energies’;
life, death, bliss, tragedy, motion, stillness,
man, nature, obstical, portal, open, closed,
static, kinetic.
each canvas is a stage. on this stage a single
performance is taking place. in each is the
existence of a presence. this is where we find
the essence of basic emotion.
with this in mind, titles are surperfluous. the
experience of each performance is completely
in the eye of the viewer or participant.
one must not look with only optics and mind.
each act must be felt as if an old friend or
total stranger…
this is basic human emotion.
—
journal 04.1998
michael ammerman
beauty.04
you’ve tried to find her,
and you’ve looked in vain
up the picture and down again,
you’ve tried to fashion her of broken bits,
and you’ve worked yourself into seventeen fits;
the reason you’ve failed to tell you i can,
it isn’t a lady but a man.
… from the writings of marcel duchamp one
can feel the idea that our lives are not always
what we think we see. you create your own
reality.
self-perception is that only of what you yourself
have come to believe. the beauty of this, is just
that, beauty. one can create their own idea of
reality. art in it’s own existence is ones own
reality.
the only difference, if any, is that one can
transpose their reality on others.
expression is a true form of plastering your
gestures and thoughts for all to see.
some might choose to rationalize these
expressions, to better understand their reality…
others might be comfortable to ponder…
this is the beauty.
—
THE LOST WRITINGS
05.18.2002
michael ammerman
untitled
today is positive
today is growth
up
blue
not once
the street is long
with delicate touch
severe
open
rythmic tempo
one one one two
soft
voice
strength
the smell of spring
or summer
what’s the difference
it’s all about growth
positive voice
perspective
—
06.06.2000
michael ammerman
untitled
ideas expand
the aroma of chance
taste it
smell it
there is nothing
that sting
ocean breeze
50 miles an hour
through a straw
—
06.08.02
michael ammerman
untitled
the day moved
once open
orange tip
open
grass
green
the wind
moved my soul
the sign read
one way
why was life so short
upward movement
blue
white caps
sharp pain
sorrow
one movement
one gesture
one touch
one cut
one wound
yet open
grace
yellow
bliss
life within
an infinite kiss
—
06.08.02
michael ammerman
untitled
I’m here
I will always move
one blossom
one motion
wrong turn
open portal
which way
feel
texture
sharp
where did the light go
what did it mean
cut
bright day
sun shines
pebbles under feet
tender step
open mouth
first touch
scared
open
first step
the only way is up
life
yet
so infinite
yet
so vapid
why so difficult
and so powerful
to dominate
open wind
movement
to move right
is to open up
to be green
is it order
or chaos
to move to the top
wounds the soul
if for a moment
can one touch
the heavens
without leaving the ground
does one really need
to read the scripture
when it all feels the same
the soul
the touch
stillness
—
~1986
michael ammerman
the world
the world will unite,
not as one but as two
separate people,
maybe me,
maybe you,
bombs will fly
people will die…
then the sun breaks out
above the clouds.
the dusk of a new day
but wait…
there is nobody in sight
but corpses of lashed and
frayed
bodies thrown about.
was it worth it?
